Monday, November 30, 2009

Christmas Shopping

I have a major love hate relationship with Christmas shopping. I love to do it for my immediate family because I generally know what to get them, and what they'll like, and what will make them happy. Then there is everyone else, and shopping for them makes me crazy. My mom and Sean's parents are so hard to shop for. We don't get any ideas of things they would like, so it's just a big guessing game. My mom always says, "Don't get me anything. I don't need anything." But yeah right, like we're not going to get her a Christmas present. Thanks for the help mom!
We also have my nephews to buy for, but they are like my kids in that they don't need anymore toys AT ALL! But clothes are lame christmas presents, so I feel very stuck. How does everyone else decide on Christmas gifts for those that are hard to buy for?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Happy 6th Anniversary!

Yesterday was our 6th anniversary, and to celebrate we had my mom babysit and then Sean and I went out to eat, went to the spa at the Four Seasons and got a room there for the night. It was our first entire night out without any kids in a very long time, and it was fabulous!!!! I seriously wish we could have had an extra day or two for just us. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I also love my husband and feel like we don't get much time just for us anymore. Sadly that's not going to change anytime soon with our newest addition on the way. 5 kids is a lot to ask of anyone for any length of time. Hopefully when they are a little older and more self-sufficient, asking a grandparent or two to keep them for a weekend won't be such a major undertaking.
Anyway, we had a great day/night together and can't wait to do it again next year. I think instead of gifts we're going to do something like this instead whenever possible. Quality time together is much better than any gift from a store. :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

scary times (with a happy ending and a rant)

Today (october 2) was my first appointment with dr. p. I went in there feeling pretty normal and no major concerns. I've been having a lot of cramps, but no spotting or bleeding, so I just figured we were fine. As soon as the dr. started the ultrasound I knew something was wrong. There was nothing there. :( The lining of my uterus is thick and there is a tiny black dot, which could potentially be a sac for the baby in the near future, but we can't be sure right now. So now we wait. It's possible my dates are off and I'm not as far along as I thought, but it's also possible I was pregnant and there is no longer a viable baby in there and I'm just waiting for the miscarriage to begin. There is nothing my doctor can do right now. So we all just wait. I go back on October 23 to recheck everything. My doc is going to be out of town next week otherwise I'd go back sooner. It's hard not to stress, but I also know there is nothing I can do either way, so I'm trying to put it in God's hands.

I had another doctor appointment on Friday and got some good news. He did another ultrasound and there was a baby with a strong heartbeat. YAY! I spent the last 3 weeks worrying and trying to figure out if I was sick with some terrible virus, or if I was having morning sickness, so I feel like I can breathe now. Of course we are still nervous, and will be for the health of this baby for the rest of our lives, but I'm hoping after I have another appointment in 4 weeks and hear the baby's heartbeat I'll be able to relax even more. Oh, and my due date has changed to June 2, 2010, which was Nathan's due date, and is one day before his birthday.
(I wrote this next part and was just honest about my feelings. I know a lot of you won't like it or get it, but it's the real me. Sorry!)
Now I just have to figure out how to tell everyone. I have to be honest that I know we are not going to get a lot of "Congratulations, that's so exciting!" responses from people, especially our family members, which really just sucks. Instead we're going to hear a lot of, "Holy cow! Are you guys crazy? But your done now right?" type of responses. It makes me sad and angry that people can't be excited about another addition to our family and someone else to love. We're not on welfare, we can afford our bills and provide for our family, and don't rely on other people to care for our kids, so I don't understand all the negativity around such an awesome gift of a child.

a hard decision


Today I made a very hard decision. Jackson is going to be mainly eating formula instead of breastfeeding. Anyone who knows me knows how important breastfeeding my kids to at least 12 months is, and how strongly I feel about how important breastmilk is to babies, so you know this was a seriously difficult decision. But because of his weight gain issues, and me being pregnant again, I really feel this is what is going to be best for him. I am hoping I'll still be able to nurse him on occasion, but his main nutrition will be coming from formula for the next 2 months. I have been so nauseous and crappy feeling that I haven't been eating or drinking properly, and not taking care of myself means I can't produce enough healthy milk to take care of Jackson.
I know making it to ten months is way better than nothing, but I still feel terrible about what I'm taking away from him, and the financial burden this puts on our family. Of course buying formula for the next two months isn't going to break the bank, but it's still not something we have budgeted for. I also feel incredibly guilty because had we been just a little more careful on preventing another pregnancy, this wouldn't even be an issue right now, but what's done is done, and I'm trying to focus on the positive here. Jackson will get the nutrition he needs, and I don't have to worry I'm starving him because I'm being stubborn and trying to stick with exclusively breastfeeding.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Holy crap

There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just come out with it; I'm pregnant again!
Before you start throwing things at me let me just answer your questions.
1) no this was not planned
2) yes we know what causes this (we are obviously just really good at it, lol!)
3) no we won't be finding out the sex
4) Jackson will be 18 months old when this baby is born
5) I am tentatively due May 30, 2010
6) This is our last baby as Sean plans to get the "procedure" done
and lastly
7) NO we are not crazy, although we may be by the time all the kids move out. :)

We just found out 2 days ago, and the shock is wearing off, and the realization that we are going to need yet another crib and we'll have to figure out how to squish everyone in the car, and where to put 5 kids in our house is all setting in. I'm really not that worried though, we'll make it work somehow.
Today I also woke up with a raging case of morning sickness. No puking yet, but definitely crappy feeling. I'm hoping every day won't be like this or it's going to be a long 9 months. I still haven't called the doctor. I'm definitely going to hear an I told you so from him. I love my ob, he's so nice and fun, but he told me when I went in to get my IUD removed months ago that if he took it out I'd end up back in there pregnant again. He tried adjusting the IUD so I didn't have as many bad symptoms, but then a few days later it pretty much just fell out, so I never bothered calling or going back in. I hated that thing, and can't remember to take a pill everyday, so I didn't see a need to call him to let him know it came out.

I will update everyone once I go in for my appointment and let you know if my due date changes and if everything looks good with baby #5.

I took this idea from Julia and wrote some posts as we went along and saved them to share later. Hope you don't mind Julia!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

weekend pictures

Ok thanks to Heather for sending these.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


I have to say Sean and I are very lucky that we both have pretty awesome families. They are the kind who would go out of their way to help you, and do pretty much anything you need. This weekend we were finally able to help out my mom, instead of the other way around, which is seems like is always the case. I can't tell you how many times my mom has dropped what she was doing and come running to help us out, including taking care of our whole family who had the stomach flu while I was having a baby. Yeah, she's amazing.
So anyway, this weekend we went over and did some yard work for her. I say "we", but I didn't really do a whole lot. I was more of a kid wrangler, butt-wiper, lunch maker, but hey, I was there in spirit. We (there I go again) raked my moms yard, which is big and has lots of trees, therefore lots of leaves, and my brother cut down 4 trees and cut them up for firewood and then everyone helped load up the trailers. We'll have to spend another weekend on a date with a log splitter to actually get the wood down to fireplace size, but cutting down the trees was a huge accomplishment.
When the kids weren't eating, or needing their butts wiped, they were actually pretty good helpers, especially the older three. At 6 and 5 they can use a rake decently, and were very helping in carrying logs to the trailer and picking up sticks for kindling. Their favorite activities of course, were jumping in leaf piles and climbing around on the trees right after they were cut down before the guys could cut them into pieces. All in all a great weekend with my family and I love that we helped my mom out.
(I wish I had pictures to share, but I'm a dork and forgot my camera. My sister-in-law had hers though, so maybe she'll share a couple of her pics.)

Monday, November 2, 2009

another year has passed

As the anniversary of my dad's passing approaches I find myself struggling to say anything new about how I'm feeling.
This post from last year pretty much still sums it all up. I wish I had something nicer or happier to say this year, but it's all still the same for me.
But instead of focusing on all the sadness, I thought it would be fun to post some things about my dad so you could know him better.

~He loved trout fishing, and was trying to teach me how to fly fish, despite me actually catching him one time.

~He coached our soccer team when we were little even though he knew nothing about the game before then. He was volunteered for the job, so he got a book about it and actually wasn't a bad coach.

~He also coached the girls basketball team for our school, and he was much better at that.

~In high school he played every sport he could, and excelled at all of them.

~Despite being an office guy, he loved to work on things around the house both inside and out, and did really good work in all his projects.

~When he was younger, he had the most awesome sideburns ever. These things seriously needed their own zip code. He was quite the stud back then I guess. lol!

~Most importantly he loved his family and spending time with them, including the extended family, not just my mom, brother, and I.

Happy Halloween

Two days late, but so what. :) We had a fun night trick or treating in our subdivision, even though it was pretty darn cold, and we have more candy than we know what to do with now. Here are pictures of our tribe as my brother likes to call them. (click on the pics to view them in a new window so you can see the whole thing. Poor Nathan got cut off in the last one on here)